Honest. Free. Spirited. Rough around the edges. Creative. Nice. Broke.
I’m truly passionate about making something that is truly lasting. Whether that’s an impression on somebody, through my personality, my stories, my life. Or through a photograph or anything. I just want to make sure that I’m creating something that matters.
Hopefully I’d be sitting around the campfire playing music and eating well and in good company. I would everything that i do right now in the same way. First and foremost, everything is for fun. Not for business.
Music. 100 percent. I would love to be apart of any sort of musical scene even if it meant people who live in the woods. I just want to be included and successful in that. Folk or political music. I’m really interested in that. I think that’s the reason why music was created. to get a point across and protest and relate. Music passes through people’s minds without people realizing what they’re even hearing. Music is like a language. It crosses so many barriers. Anybody can appreciate music. Any age, anywhere in the world. It’s awesome.
There is a highway that runs from the desert in Southern California up to Spokane, Washington and even further. It’s called highway 395..sort of like route 66 it’s another historic highway. I think it’s a beautiful highway. I’m putting all of my stuff in storage and i have already don’t this once. But i’m going to continue to just drive up the highway and take film photos of anything adjacent to it. and hopefully create a book eventually. and i wanna sell it in stores that are along the highway. so i’ve already started it. It’s gonna be a coffee table book…i might just call it highway 395. And it’ll be inclusive of hot springs or convenient stores or people you might find. like someone you might find in a gas station or something like that. or the lone pine country film museum. So yeah. I’m putting all my stuff in storage and that’s the next thing i’d like to get done. something that means something to me. I don’t know when i’ll finish the book. it might take 10 years. It might take me one year but it will be everlasting. It can never really be done. It can only be done when i decide to call it quits really. It could be a life long thing which it might. if it goes well, i might do other highways. or other cities and towns.
Finances. Self-Loathing. Self-doubt. But i’m sort of saying fuck it to everything and i’m pushing myself and I’m nervous about it all. But you can come up with anything to get in your way. You just have to put it out of the way. Usually the things that are in your way aren’t actually really in your way. They just become things that you’ve almost created to use almost as an excuse. so like for instance, the fact that i’m quitting my job and putting all of my stuff in storage…i can say that i don’t have enough money. i could say i don’t know where i’m going. I can say I don’t have a good enough camera or a good enough eye. all of that might be true but i’m still gonna do it because fuck it…quote me on that.
Recently I’ve discovered it’s myself. I don’t think it’s anybody else. I’ve never really been one to care about what other people think but i care a lot about what i think about myself. and i’ve sort of been…prone to self-loathing. I’m prone to being too hard on myself. That might be because of societies expectations of me but i think i’ve recently learned to stop blaming it on something like society and it’s really just me. What i put on myself. Like i want to be successful. i want to make a living. I want stability. I want all of those things. But i also want to be myself. Which is completely opposite of all of those things so…it’s inner conflict. I am my biggest enemy. That’s why alone time is so therapeutic. It makes me a little uncomfortable sometimes. But doing what I’m resisting to do really helps with everything. Going to yoga. That’s my alone time. Even if I’m in a room with 20 people. That’s still alone time because I’m totally in my own head. I go on these trips where I’m alone for maybe a month at a time. I meet new people. I think listening to a story is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself..from someone you’ve never met. about something that might not relate to you but in 5 years you might look back at that story and say yeah…i relate to this now. We’re all human. We’re all the same. I would say alone time and wilderness