Calm, creative, hilarious, ambitious, strange, spontaneous, curious, genuine, introverted, and playful.
I’m passionate about the quest to learn more about myself, and more about life. And that involves creativity, because to me, creativity is one of the biggest mysteries that I’ve found to be linked with the divine, and I’m not necessarily religious, but I know there is something that exists out there that permeates. Sharing my creative projects with people and then igniting certain dialogues that are real, that are impactful, and resonate somewhere deep within the flames of their hearts... yeah. That’s what I like. I would much rather listen to and share stories and insights about things that matter, than talk about who’s dating who or some bullshit story that happened on the news because there’s a lot of nonsense taking over our attention. We need to guard our minds. I like being surrounded by genuine, real, curious individuals who own who they are, and are not afraid to ask the scary questions for fear of being judged or rejected. So I guess in short I’m passionate about creativity, genuine friendship, asking questions, and… creativity. And creativity.
I would be sharing time with the people that matter most to me, with a camera, a sketchbook, some microns, pencils, erasers, markers, and a giant canvas paper pad with a bunch of paint, book a flight to Spain, Portugal, or somewhere in Mexico, and explore. Paint, draw, shoot photos, eat psychedelics, read a lot of books, i’d be dancing, going to festivals, meeting new people, meditating, journaling… Basically things I already do except with my tribe and in a different, unfamiliar, enriching, environment. In nature, next to sacred sites, interesting architecture, etc. Filming stuff, singing, dancing, whatever. I’ll always be creating something.
To be the youngest to exhibit at a renowned museum, like MOMA or the Met. I’d be a painter who collaborates with the hottest in the game, like KAWS, or Takashi Murakami. Making toys, clothing, sculptures, furniture, all while taking photos and documenting the journey. I’d be mingling with people that I consider to be icons, like Pharrell, or KAWS. I’d definitely be pushing my ideas forward with my creations, which would involve mingling with cutting edge researchers and/or scientists who are unconventional and who can teach me about the latest stuff. I would have no choice but to be well informed, and super self aware. That’s the ultimate goal for me. To reach such an advanced stage of self awareness, and be truly… and completely…fulfilled.
As of right now I am painting and taking photos with my film camera. I’ve been painting on paper a lot lately, using gouache, but recently I have been painting with acrylics on canvas paper and also designing jackets for people. Custom jackets with my characters on ‘em, with some empowering messages on the insides or something like that. The goal is to empower, and uplift. Using the gift to uplift. As far as the photography goes, I have been taking photos for a while but not super consistently. Just lifestyle stuff. But as of a month, maybe a month and a half ago I’ve been getting back into it because my friend Steven is a photographer and we both manifested some crazy friendship thing and it was great timing so it worked out. Now I’m taking photos and looking forward to every time I get them developed. I lost that feeling and I’m so glad to have it back. The feeling of not knowing how your photos will come out, and feeling a sense of refreshment towards a craft. Feels good.
Myself. It includes habits, motivations, behaviors, etc. Also the heat fucks me up, but I’m grateful I live next to the ocean so it isn’t that bad. I think one of the biggest blocks though is feeling like what I’m doing is too… I don’t think “familiar” is the right word but… predictable. So my challenge is to make my stuff as unpredictable as I can, or to expand my world so that I can incorporate more of what I want to express but in a different way. If that makes sense.
My petty bullshit that lingers inside my inner critic, and resistance. Everything is all up to me. Also I just need to get better at managing my time. I think we all do, but that involves getting up earlier and not looking at my fucking phone when I get up. And adjusting my behavior so that I make the most of my mornings because that’s the most important part of the day. So what’s stopping me is…me.
A lot of the times its a visual I have in my mind’s eye, and I just get a pencil and paper and sketch it out, refine it, then consider it for a painting or a digital illustration. There are also moments where I just automatic draw and let the pencil run its own course without my mind controlling it so much. Or seeking a destination that is already decided upon. I draw random lines and create geometry and add random words. It frees things up a bit and lets me discover instead of knowing where the end is already. If you’re reading this: try it!
A lot of the squashing is self inflicted but that usually only results from comparing myself to others, and I’ve learned not to do that anymore because it’s a waste of time. There is nobody like me in the planet. I am not like the next person. We’re similar, but completely different. So why even compare?
Creativity means tapping into yourself, a higher power, a muse, and sharing the gifts that are bestowed. Creativity heals, and is a powerful bonding experience because it reveals that which makes us who we are. It’s authentic and raw. It teaches. Creativity is sacred.
Good Enough means not comparing oneself to others. It means being totally accepting and forgiving to oneself, and acknowledging that you are a living, breathing miracle. You are alive. It means that there is no rush to becoming your best possible self. Everyone is in their own lane, at their own pace, doing their own thing. Be good enough for you. Embrace everything about yourself and own that shit.